If you think about it ‘life’ is sfumato. On the grandest of all scales, none of us know what the future holds. I can recall times in my life where the unknown was extremely frightening to me. My parents divorced when I was young and for a while I never knew what was going to happen next. It seemed that just when things seemed ‘right’ in my life there would be a huge change that forced me to start over again. I have learned since that this is why I HATE change so much. I have learned that I don’t actually hate change I am just afraid of any negative effects it may have.
Uncertainty will always be a part of our jobs as teachers. We may never know what kind of impact we have on our students. It takes all year to find out if they have learned anything and that information comes through the results of spring testing which should always be taken with a grain of salt. Many teachers go for years without ever receiving feedback from a former student acknowledging an impact on their lives.
It has probably been for the last 8 or so years that I have learned to enjoy ambiguity. I think part of this has come with just becoming more secure with my life and my faith. I fully trust that the Lord is in charge and that He has a plan for my life. Believing in this has made uncertainty less scary to me. For me, ambguity keeps me going. Without working toward something, anything, I think we would all just sit around.
